Break ups are never fun, but they can be even worse when they come in the middle of wedding plans. Deposits may have been put down, dresses ordered, and guests invited. It’s heartbreaking and awkward to have to cancel what was a dream wedding, but better than having to deal with divorce a few years down the road. One emotional and bittersweet symbol of love gone wrong is the engagement ring. What to do with it, and who gets it? Here’s some questions to consider when trying to decide who gets the ring. Who paid for it? Is it a family heirloom? Why are you not getting married?
I think the first thing to consider is karma or the golden rule. Years from now, if you’re telling this story to your children (or other younger relatives) you will want to be proud of your behavior. If the wedding is canceled due to your decision, you must give it back. There’s always a lot to be said for taking the high road. It’s painful now, but if he cheated on you or broke it off, he did you a favor by revealing his true nature before getting married. He left you the opportunity to have a happier marriage to a better guy.
The ring is a symbol of this betrayal now, not your happiness together. I would suggest giving it back, especially if he’s still making payments on it. If it’s his family ring, you must give it back. Why should his family suffer for his bad behavior? Besides, do you really want something to remind you of the cheater?
The only time I would keep the ring would be to make up for financial costs that have come about due to your relationship. Did you give up an apartment or job to move to where he lives? Did you support him or put him through school? Will you need first and last months’ rent? Did you or your family pay for the deposits on the venue or your dress that are non-refundable? Selling the ring can help off set some of these costs. Consult with a professional jeweler for option on how to sell your ring. It’s easier and safer than a private sale, and you will get top dollar for it.
I think the first thing to consider is karma or the golden rule. Years from now, if you’re telling this story to your children (or other younger relatives) you will want to be proud of your behavior. If the wedding is canceled due to your decision, you must give it back. There’s always a lot to be said for taking the high road. It’s painful now, but if he cheated on you or broke it off, he did you a favor by revealing his true nature before getting married. He left you the opportunity to have a happier marriage to a better guy.
The only time I would keep the ring would be to make up for financial costs that have come about due to your relationship. Did you give up an apartment or job to move to where he lives? Did you support him or put him through school? Will you need first and last months’ rent? Did you or your family pay for the deposits on the venue or your dress that are non-refundable? Selling the ring can help off set some of these costs. Consult with a professional jeweler for option on how to sell your ring. It’s easier and safer than a private sale, and you will get top dollar for it.
Engagement Rings and Break-Ups